>THE GIRL WITH SOMETHING EXTRA

>Patient presents with symptoms in early July. Is recommended to me by Dr Phylis Hautmann, at the Kretz Institute. Dr Hautmann also present for initial consultation. Patient, Angela N____, arrives for appointment early.

Briefed by Dr Hautmann before Angela N is ushered in to see me. Dr Hautmann explains the situation. Or, to be more accurate, the situation comedy. SITCOMS, I write in the little notepad I keep by my desk. The word seems like an acronym for almost anything.

Ask Dr Hautmann to repeat herself.

She replies. Half-hour sitcoms.

Angela N enters office, just as Dr Hautmann leaves. Angela seems somewhat distressed.

Angela N says: I thought I was being referred to you.

Reply: You are, but Dr Haufmann was giving me some background information.

Patient sits down, sighs.

I probe as to the origins of her condition. Angela N tells me everybody loves Raymond. I infer Raymond a past lover. Theories begin forming. Transference issues. Everyone loves Raymond except her. Then she says: According to Jim— and I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. Is this Jim a friend she confides in?

I just continue to nod.

Patient: Married with children.

Infer: Messy divorce.

Patient: All in the family.

Infer: Repressed abuse. Father?

Patient: Three’s company.

Infer: Father and Uncle?

Patient: Empty Nest.

Infer: Abandonment.

Patient: I love Lucy.

Infer: Confused sexuality.

Patient: Charles in Charge.

Infer: Unnatural dependence on new male figure.

Patient: Bless this house.

Infer: Religion as emotional crutch.

Patient continues to express a list of psychological problems far too complex for even me. Tell patient to wait outside.

Phone Dr Willis at the Institute. Explain case history, symptoms.

Dr Willis says: Happy Days!

Different strokes, I infer, for different folks.

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